Merry Christmas 2011

Merry Christmas to You from our Family

Stonegate Elementary Kindergarten Christmas Carol program-2011

This was Jonathan's Class performance for his Kindergarten class. We think he was the cutest reindeer of all.  Their class starts at 15:30 for those of you that just want to see Jonathan.
Of course we'd love to wish you a Merry Christmas.
Also not to forget The reason for this season. Jesus Christ.
Merry Christmas and next post will be Sarah's 1st Birthday.

Here is the Link to the Container Store's blog: HERE
We so LOVE The Container Store. We even love it more since Nov. 18th , when Andrew started working in their distribution center.
There have been many early mornings and many sleepy kids in the back seat taking Andrew to work...but so far it's been worth it.

Be blessed and Merry Christmas.

Raising Awareness... HOW

I've gotten to the point in life...
Where some thing that used to be important to me, aren't that important now.
Okay now before I get hate comments on here let me clarify.
I care a lot about a couple of causes. The March of Dimes, and anything having to do with Cancer Research (esp. Kids Cancer).
This morning (Thursday) I was reading my facebook feed, like I normally do, I saw something that alarmed me.
A friend of our family posted that she was moving to Costa Rica for 12 months. I was like, are we still watching their kids tomorrow night? Are they all leaving...etc...
The truth was... It was one of those cryptic messages that is supposed to raise awareness for cancer; although I have no idea how anyone  can figure out the formula to how they got the words.  The first words of the email is that men are to be excluded from this....
This is always trouble for one by excluding anyone .Two... it doesn't raise awareness or money for a specific cause.outright (unless you ask someone who had the formula)
Like a friend of mine said. "you might as well flush a toilet"- She made a video I will post at the bottom...
For the record...She has her own blog, and I like it. this was on hers. This is HERS.

If you are into raising money for a cause:
Go find the Cause and support it...(click on the highlighted and it will take you there)
American Cancer Society- Relay for life- Personal because of: Andrew's Grandma(pancreatic cancer 2001)
Tracy(2006) Larry(2009) Victoria-Age 6 (2009) and Fred(2011)

Lukemia & Lymphoma Society-(for Christy)
CureSearch-Children's Cancer Research

March for Babies-March of Dimes- Prematurity and Birth Defect.-This one is personal and in a few days like I have for the last two years I am writing my blog about our Nicu journey and how we were helped. I am writing as a part of BloggersUnite for Prematurity awareness day.

Be very blessed and be a blessing to someone else!

What would you SAY...

Okay now that I've got a song going through your head...Or at least now there's one in mine.
It got me thinking.
October is Pregnancy and infancy loss awareness month. Most people are aware of October also being Breast Cancer awareness month.
In fact I've seen it on  the news and even say a horrible NFL game where I needed sunglasses because the pink was day-glow.(yeah I know I just totally bunny trailed but now that you're aware I will continue)
Okay now my question. What would you really say so someone who just experienced a loss.
I'm going to list a few pointers I use. This totally excludes pregnancy loss because I've experienced this one twice.
1. Try just being honest and say you're sorry and how you don't know what to say.
This is so much better than saying something you don't really know or will come across the wrong way.
2. Place yourself in the other person's shoes...and walk a few miles in them.
What would you want someone to say or do for you.
3. If you feel like you want or need to do something for them in this time of trauma/loss, be very specific.
If you say something like, If you ever need anything please let me know.  Okay one problem, we've all heard this and it's too open ended.
Imagine going through a time in which your whole personal universe falls apart. It's overwhelming. nothing makes sense. This trauma wasn't supposed to happen., now you have to deal with not only this loss but everybody else.
I remember certain things that really helped me when my first son Jonathan was born and the NICU stay that followed. One of the most meaningful things someone did for me was...Mow my lawn. or Bring me food.
This friend of ours actually asked if he could come over and mow our grass.

4. Don't avoid someone because you don't know what to say. Just say something. If this person lost a loved one and you have personal memories of them...talk  about this. Trust me it helps when other people remember a friend. writing down the memories is even better.
Silence can sometimes be deafening. It's okay to cry about it.

Pregnancy loss(this may trigger-those who've had this happen)



I've experienced two miscarriages. The first one was in January 2005 and the second was August 31,2007(labor day Friday). Both of these pregnancies were very wanted and the babies that were in my womb from conception were both precious and loved.
Having had just gone through several years of infertility and waiting, It was truly the most joyful thing to find out that finally we were pregnant.  A few weeks later and after an ultrasound we discover our babies had died.(both times)
I'll spare you all the details only to say. It stinks. I'm sad and there is such a stigma on this that I cannot talk about my loved ones.
I've heard even  really great friends tell me the most crazy and hurtful things that meant well.
"Maybe it just wasn't meant to be" or "Don't be sad and don't mourn this baby".
I even had a pastor friend that I respected tell me that I had an abortion. I had no respect for this person later by the way, and the fact of the matter was that my baby had passed away at 7 weeks and a month had passed.   My body never got the memo to let go. I saw that ultrasound with no heart beating..and continued to see that horrible yet beautiful picture every time I closed by eyes for a while.
This person treated me as though I had butchered my baby.  Incomprehensible if  I catch someone saying it to one of my friends or me, I will be having words with you.

The morning we said goodbye a really well known friend of mine called me and gave me some really terrific words of comfort(from experience)
My baby was in heaven with Jesus and that I would be able to see him when it was my time, and that no matter what I was and always would be his mom.

I would through this experience gain some things that were unexpected. I gained a new level of compassion for people experiencing this. Maybe it's empathy..I really don't know what to call it.
I also gained some of the most wonderful,caring and loving friends I never thought I would ever meet. People from all walks of life, beliefs etc.
One of the best things I ever heard someone say was "i'm So sorry for your loss" I'm here with you and for you. If you need to cry go ahead. Screaming is okay too."
Okay now that I have tears in my eyes...
Pregnancy loss is more about mourning the future... What would he/she have looked like etc.

If you've never experienced anything like that: Good for you. I pray and hope you never do.
Be honest and tell the person you don't know what to say and leave it at that.
Let the mom or dad take the lead in whether or not they want to do something.

Case in point (and I hope this friend doesn't get offended because I love her and her family HUGS and Kisses to C)

When I miscarried Samuel at what should have been 11 weeks...She was I think 34 weeks pregnant.
We'd gone through most of her pregnancy together as really close friends. We talked a lot. She was in fact the first person I called when I got this horrible news.

The timing on this loss was so Horrible not only for my family, but for her as well. She was in a period of transition that was anticipated to be JOYful.   The whole thing was just awkward and after the initial loss and the memorial we had..we kind of backed off... Because our time of LOSS was incredibly upsetting...she didn't know how to feel or say. Well of course she went on and had her baby. I had asked her to call me and talk to me through that because I demanded she did. I told her if she kept this from me I'd be even more upset. She  shared the whole thing with me and even called me right after she delivered her own baby in the hospital by herself (long story short, her delivery was super fast that no doctors or nurses were there to catch the baby. The baby came out and landed on the bed).
We drifted apart and only on occasion would call each other. I felt I lost a friend. She avoided me like the plague for a while.  We did reconcile and God does  wonderful things through that. God only knows the reasons why things happen. It's impossible for me to see anything past my circumstances sometimes.. We'll be friends always although it will be different.

Although I didn't die, some people expected me to stay away from the activities that brought me joy and light to my dark valley... why do you expect me to crawl in a freaking hole and never come out...
Yes I have those days where I want to stay in bed or go sit on my porch. I still think about those babies. A LOT.

It's a MYTH that just because you have other children, that losing a baby by miscarriage is any less painful.
In fact it's quite the opposite.  Every year on someone's birthday the question goes through my head about what one of our babies would have looked like.  Having a child that's living sometimes does trigger that response,although I have learned to deal with the pain of that.
This same truth applies also to infertility.

Someday my children will be told about their siblings that are in heaven waiting on us all.  We are waiting until they have more understanding of life and death to tell them this.

Until then Every October 15th we light candles to remember those babies.  We also light candles Jan 28th... Samuel will be 7 years this next January.

Until our children can grasp the concept of life and death, we are waiting to tell them about our other babies.

Some of this I have to give credit where credit is due. I would not be where I am today without the friendship of some ladies I met on the internet. I also have met others with these experiences locally and the thread among ourselves is made common by love and loss.
I ultimately have to give the honor and credit to God(my creator) and also someone who I married nearly 14 years ago.
Having said this...I've been greatly comforted, and find myself offering the same support that was given to me.
Until next time go and be blessed (to be a blessing)

Trippin out and Parent teacher conference day

First our Trip-

We rode a train called the TRE all the way into Fort Worth

Jonathan and Daniel LOVE trains. that and Airplanes and Airports... We see lots of those living by the Dallas/Fort Worth Int'l Airport within minutes of our house. That and Bass Pro (with the giant fish in  their tank)

skyline view just before we reached the end of the line in Fort Worth

They have a lot of stars out here Although we can't yet figure out how this is the "Lone Star" state seeing so many.

Sarah came too and was attached to me in a carrier. Daddy held her while I took some pictures while we rode on the top level on the train

Parent Teacher Conference Day:

Daniel: 3 weeks into school and the teacher has already figured out Daniel is quite the intelligent little boy although he has speech issues.

She has already figured out what motivates him as well, and has begun to help him work on getting him to stop with the chewing/mouth issues.

He really has surprised the staff at his school of how interactive he is and how eager he is to learn.

He had homework and I was able to help out with my awesome Google skills.

Jonathan: Although there aren't letter Grades in Kindergarten. He's doing fairly well so far. although his reading and writing need help he is getting better with the ordering numbers... He's still a little bit lost with his alphabetical order. all I got to say is some of this he at least got honest from his Dad. 

His teacher loves him so much.and she told us a story from when she was in class a week prior. She had been drawing a picture of what she did at home with her family. She drew a picture of  her, her husband and a younger child gathered around a computer (her older one is off in college). When she asked her class of 5 year olds what she was doing: some said they were playing a game, some said it was a picture. a few said facebook.  When the activity had ended and everyone's attention was somewhere else Jonathan goes up to Mrs. C. and says "Its called Skype-ing mrs. C." That was in fact what she was drawing. He was so excited.

(I never ever use full last names unless I have permission)

We answered her questions about our train trip to her as she only got a partial story.

 Like I stated in the last post I do not have any issues with his teacher. She's just awesome. We like her and she is liking him. She communicates well, although returning an email saying she's looking into a matter would be great

We have been blessed to have 2 great teachers at 2 great schools. Daniel has had some behavior challenges that caused him to have a sad face in his binder... but Jonathan has had nothing but green smiles in his. He likes having the green smiley and takes pride in it.

Be blessed.

Prayer request: Andrew is currently looking  for another job (as per our plan when we moved out here-But was sped up by circumstances beyond his control). He has several interviews tomorrow. We'd appreciate God's favor and proper pay and benefits and time of day we need etc.. We'd also love for him to start soon.He's driving us all insane.

We found out through a personality test last night that is is one of his traits.  We love him so much but he needs to be engaged in feeling useful for him to be happy.

Individual Education Plan (ARD) Meeting...

Total pain in the rear.

About two weeks ago in Jonathan and Daniel's binder I got a note saying that there would not be school on the day of September 28th. I asked both teachers if it were even necessary to have these as we were either going to have a IEP or (ARD) meeting to discuss their progress and start getting them each the specific help they need. They said we  would have to come to that too.
 Since we had started the process of applying to the school for services about 2 or 3 weeks after we moved here...It took forever for the necessary folks to come back and do all their necessary assessments etc. 3 weeks until school started and we were just having the first meeting to discuss that we were going to keep everything in place until we had him evaluated by the staff at school.  Meanwhile I've discovered something completely disturbing yet at the same time really pathetic.
While we were trying to get Jonathan and Daniel enrolled (and sadly this was more prominent with Jonathan)
I kept having these conversations with people that were speaking like they had a split personality. It was totally just both idiotic and political at the same time. There were good reasons for that although they didn't want to acknowledge that they have to follow the law.  (so what I heard was: the law first and then their interpretation of it and what they wanted to do.)
Most of them did their evaluations and sent us copies of what they wrote. I say most in a broad term. a couple of the therapists either came on just as right before the meeting OR just didn't bother to write anything down as in the physical therapist...(who I will explain later)
In the district we now live in it was easier and way much faster to take Daniel in...and get him tested.  We were waiting for a while for things to begin moving on his process, but happily once it started it went so fast.  We had our meeting completed by week 3 of school and he started the next Monday.
Jonathan we had started him in the process at the same time and it took several extra weeks to get everyone to the meeting late last week.

The teacher we've had , so far has been a champion for Jonathan and has gone to bat for Jonathan several times already. She went to the principal several  times in regards to the bully that he was encountering on the bus. The bully was dealt with after we visited his school the second time. She has dealt with our notes with our questions, and has called us to address our specific classroom questions.
I dare not fault her for the actions of the administration. Some things her hands have been tied on, and unfortunately the teacher(who has the most hand on the child) doesn't get even a 20% say.  This should be weighted towards the teacher who has him in the classroom.

We get a call three (3) days before by both the Occupational therapist and the resource teacher who will be in on what Jonathan does during the year telling me what they assessed him for and what he needs. good information but the occupational therapist added that the physical therapist will not be doing anything with him as she sees no need for him being helped as he can do a lot already at school.
I was okay with her telling me she wouldn't be at the meeting(although in the end she was).
I was okay with the resource teacher taking the time to answer my questions.
I was NOT okay when the PT and the speech therapist backed out of the meeting.I told Andrew this and scratched my head
I wrote in Jonathan's binder communicator thing called a MOOSE. I also made it a hobby of mine to try to reach her and the evaluator. I know what our rights are, and I know it's within our rights  to ask that they all be at this meeting.
 Again I got a lot of double talk but I made my point that it was within our rights.
Not knowing that Andrew had been talking to the diagnostician and making the same point. The meeting was back on as they normally all try to excuse themselves from the meeting. Only this time they were all coming.

I had a dream a couple of weeks previous warning me of all this. They weren't going to give a lick about him and there was very little I could do about it. I mentioned this  to Andrew and he shrugged it off.

I knew these people were going to play political games so I went online to an advocacy website and got some tips. I printed out a picture of Jonathan which was really great and really cute. The point of this was to remind everyone that we were there for Jonathan and not them. they still played games.
Well, everyone except the OT and the teacher. The low lite  was when the PT said this: Oh he'll be okay you just need to get him into sports and the park to maintain his poor muscle tone.(Like that will help...we know NOTHING about physical therapy but apparently unless he's in a wheelchair they're refusing to help him.
Jonathan has been trying twice  as hard as anyone else to do the same stuff and they are totally blind to this.He puts out more effort and he gets things done because he has no other choice.
They have modified his desk by velcro-ing a couple of phone books so make his more balanced and help him write.
He is being followed by the adaptive pe teacher who will see him only occasionally.
We were told they felt he needed outside therapy but didn't tell me how I am supposed to get this or how to pay for it. All they do is the educational part.
I'm really hoping something doesn't go horribly wrong for Jonathan and he does something like fall down the stairs(like he has in the recent past) or someone pushed him down on the playground. he already has come home with bruises and a big knot on his head. They will now have a problem since they know about his medical condition. He could easily really hurt himself doing things other kids don't even have to think about.
. I am going to try to have him excused and we are waiting on a referral for pt,OT and speech along with a developmental pediatrician. If I need to I won't hesitate to pull him out of school for it.. If you know of any educational advocates or attorneys specializing in special ed law in the DFW area, please let me know.Although we don't have a lot of money...if we need to we will spend some money for one and sue for legal fees.
We really are NOT into political anything when it comes to our kids so I really get a bit ticked off when stuff like this happens.
I would have posted something here but I was simply too mad and upset to write anything on this matter. I wanted fire to land on the PT for the stupid and inconsiderate things she said and how she just simply got up and walked out in the middle of the meeting. I had to forgive her, but that doesn't mean I won't be filing a complaint with the Education board. No one else should ever have to go through what we did.
 None of this benefits Jonathan as far as going further.just to hold him at par. He can open doors,go up and down stairs and sit in his chair without help, but they won't help him.

The teacher tried to make several recommendations but she was only able to get half of what she suggested.
Like I said... the authority should be more weighted towards those with more direct contact with the student and the parents. The others could (I apologize for saying this) give a rat's ass about him.(sorry this is a figure of speech).
My faith in this school district is fuzzy. It's not to say we aren't coming across a  great teacher here and there but as far as helping these kids...they FAIL EPIC Fail!

The dream was a warning and I am glad I had that dream so we would be prepared. I wasn't surprised to encounter these kind of people and that is great because I could have been totally blind to this and really had a mess on our hands.
Because this post went longer than I had anticipated...I will post an update with pictures and the Parent teacher conferences from yesterday ...sometime in this week.
Until then be blessed.

Well then...where are we?

Ever catch yourself saying this: Are we ______ or are we in _______?

I know I have heard myself think this. I've also heard my husband say he told his boss  something like that.

He said are we at Work or we at Petsmart? I guess he  was trying to find out what their pet policy was... People were bringing their dogs into the  store and it felt like petsmart with dogs everywhere and them having to clean up after them.

The other day when we went to Daniel's new school and were waiting in their office to go to a meeting ; I caught myself asking myself: Are we in Texas or are we in Mexico... everyone was speaking spanish. even the teachers were.

Please just don't get me started on the  school situation. I don't want to talk about it...but give me about a week and I will. we have a big meeting tomorrow with all of Jonathan's therapists, his teacher and everyone.  I've already heard from 3 of them. 2 of  them I totally disagree with and hope that something can be done to help JONATHAN. This is not about me but Jonathan. Lest we all forget. I could not care more about this kid even if no one else (even if they are supposed  to care) does.

No one should be left to struggle at school. Especially when there are things that can be done to help him learn how to write, how to basically run and play without getting himself hurt.  Unfortunately some of these professionals don't really give a rip about everyone because they are so bogged down with so much work.

Other than that we are really blessed. We have each other and are enjoying this ride we are all growing on called life.

What in the world

We've been dealing with a lot in our home lately. Some of it has been really hard, and some has been really exciting.
The Hard stuff:
When Jonathan started school about a month ago(or almost) we never imagined we'd ever have to deal with certain things. Some things we expected, and some complications arose that leave us feeling disturbed and sad.
Jonathan is beginning to notice that he has some challenges that make him not like other kids. He has been progressing steadily with his speech therapy, but still struggles to be understood real well when he speaks.
It really broke my heart when he came home one day in the second week of school and told me that his "words were broken and not working". He was feeling frustrated (and is still today).
It didn't help this situation when I found out the next thing.
After a few days of pure crying spells on Jonathan's behalf and him taking out his feelings out on mommy. I asked what was going on and he told me that kids were calling him names at some point in the day.
I sent the teacher an email both telling her the things I was hearing from him and asking what she had seen and heard. The teacher was very helpful and has so far been in his corner supporting him.  She told me that this hadn't happened in her classroom and was probably happening on the school bus.
This was confirmed twice. WE HAVE A BULLY problem...on top of an already sensitive Jonathan going through his own discovery process of who he is.
Two trips to school later and 3 meetings later...we wait to see how they deal with the bully. Of course they told us that they cannot tell us exactly how they dealt with them ;). We told them the way we know they deal with it is when Jonathan tells us he doesn't feel harassed on the bus.

But there's MORE.  Mommy has special experience with bullies. I having grown up with the same difficulties was bullied for the same reasons.
(okay now, for those that want to know)
I told Jonathan that we love him for who God made him and that no one has the right to make him feel bad for who he's not. He's as smart as he wants to be and despite his challenges, he can be what ever he wants to be when he's older.
I told him that no matter what he goes through both his dad and I were right here with him. All he has to do is tell us (or another trusted adult) when something is going on.
Jonathan's countenance rose up when he found out both his dad and I went to his school to help him deal with this.

But one thing bothers me.  Jonathan just started KINDERGARTEN.
Okay enough said.   Otherwise he is enjoying school and making friends.

Monday the 12th of September, Daniel started a preschool program.  It's a half day (3 hour) five day a week program.   Daniel will be receiving speech therapy along with learning standard stuff that preschoolers need to learn before they start school when they turn 5 with their peers.
We wait in anticipation of the day Daniel stops the tantrums and screaming and starts telling us what his needs are.  He is a very sweet kid. of course we are biased because we LOVE him with everything in our being.
We know  there will be progress.

We are anticipating going to get a second opinion of Jonathan's eyes. We saw a new eye doctor and he seemed convinced (without seeing Jonathan's chart from his previous eye doctor) that he needs surgery to correct his crossing eyes.  We feel we need one because of how quickly this doctor came to this conclusion. We know positively nothing about this guy,and are not totally confident in this guys ability to do anything besides sell this procedure.

Until we see signs of a consultation or a progress report from Jonathan or his teacher I will have to say that no matter where we go.
or go through
It's a get to do something... not a HAVE to... Life is an adventure. Sometimes a crazy one with twists and turns but as long as we're all together.
We're blessed.

Kindergarten!!!! Where did the time go?

Our First day of School

 Jonathan started Kindergarten at Stonegate on August 22, 2011.  We were lucky enough to go drop him off that morning.. Andrew followed him with the camera and took  pictures.  It made me think of the day  I went to the hospital to have him. My how time flies.

 Jonathan in his classroom. It is decked out in a cowboy theme.
Yep we must  be in Texas. I think...But that is another post.
We love our new teacher. I think I heard her say  she LOVED Jonathan.
I wasn't shedding tears a this point. We were Just really proud of him.
By the way I did cry as I left school.

 Daniel will be starting a Pre school program for kids that need speech therapy a week from tomorrow. We meet with his new peeps on Friday morning.  So far he has enjoyed having special mommy and daddy time with him.  He really enjoys the part when we go play on the playground before  we get brother off of his school bus.
We just want it to cool off some. It has been over 100 degrees here almost every day since we moved here.  That has made it harder to go outside and play.

Sarah and mommy at the boo hoo/yee haw breakfast. The had donuts, juice and coffee. I think Andrew expected more. After we went out for breakfast.
We think Sarah misses Jonathan and Daniel is just eating up all the attention he can get.
So far Jonathan has been coming home tired and his teacher  told me that he said that he wanted to go home  so he could see mommy and take a nap.
He has been getting green marks in his book for behavior and we find stickers on him.
Sometimes he comes home telling me the things he did in  school. Only thing is it's almost always in vague pieces.
Friday he came home and as  we were walking back to our apartment from the bus, he told me something. He said his class ate pieces of the Gingerbread man. That's all I could get out of him.
So glad his teacher sent an email telling us they had gone on a scavenger hunt around their school for the gingerbread man...and at the end they ate a gingerbread cookie. So glad because I was utterly and impossibly confused. I laughed when I heard the facts.
Jonathan has started speech therapy and I hope will be starting PT and OT soon.

Be blessed

controversy and a message

 There has been controversy in certain circles... Some  eating establishments (sorry, my spell checker isn't doing me any  favors today) are banning families with children under 6. Well, I belong to that classification of folks and I don't care for these blanket rules, especially when my kids aren't typical.
There are many theories as to why but I'll stick to 2 or three trains of thought.
Some adults really don't enjoy having kids running wild, making a lot of noise and just generally being animals. You know, the type of kids you see running around, chasing each other, running under tables, going up to strangers.. Generally their parental units either are unaware or are hiding underneath a table because they really don't know how to fix the behavior.
My kids have rarely done this. Two things. One we enforce rules with behavior and we'll get up and leave if our kids decide to actually act out of character. We'd like to live our life and take our kids with us.  I'd love to enjoy my time out without being made to feel like a wild animal handler.
Yes, occasionally my kids have their off days, but generally we are aware of this before we leave to go anywhere. Normally when kids are acting out like I mentioned earlier, typically all they get are dirty looks...No one bothers to step up and say anything.
....
But then again this is just  discrimination...it's discrimination against the young... Yes, I can choose to go other places, but this sets a really bad precedent.
1. Maybe it's me and my severe dislike of people classing parents and their kids into a global group, instead of seeing these families as individuals and treat them according to their behavior. Banning the whole group of us as if ALL kids are evil little brats is wrong.
 It would be like me saying ALL men are evil, when ALL of them aren't. Just a few are and making a blanket statement like that is unfair to everyone that is good. Maybe you  should ban on a case by case basis, because some people I know do try and succeed to teach their kids how to behave in public.
2. It is our belief that is a parenting issue, not a legislative issue.  Some people need to be told the truth about how their kids act in public. Sometimes hearing it from someone they don't know shakes them  out of their denial.  But please don't just tell the parents how bad or disruptive it is, give some suggestions. Otherwise it's just a grumpy old man or woman telling me how awful my kids are being.
Can you tell this is a pet peeve of mine?

3. You don't teach your kids anything in a hypothetical situation. This isn't what would you do in this situation and when they turn 20 get to go do what ever. You have to give ground rules and go experience life outside and be seen.  Mistakes are a given, but the rewards and the teachable moments are clearly what wins out.
How else are we supposed to train our kids to behave in public if we're banned from being there? Just sayin' but I can see both sides.

Haven't we learned from history yet that telling a group of people where they can go or do, doesn't work and creates problems and divisions.
I follow the belief that someday our kids will be deciding where we will be going for our rest home, so maybe we should be teaching them respect and manners so that they realize they need to respect others. Otherwise who knows where we will end up.
Sound funny enough or something? Our kids will someday have kids of their own and if we don't do a great job now, they will perpetuate the mess, because it's ok? Scary...but thats so generational.
 We have to fix it now, so the future's better.
Go Be blessed

Dear Anonymous: Please tell me how you meant this "Sounds to me like you're getting everything you deserve! Yay!!" 


If you meant it out of a good way then, YAY... but if was bad come out and explain yourself.
Either way I am totally confused and would like to know. 
I love my readers.
especially Anonymous ones.

I'm so lost even My GPS won't save me

It seems everywhere I go right now, even if I've been there before I've gotten so horrifically lost, even my gps can only half of the time get me out of the mess I've driven into... It takes prayer to find my way anywhere anyway.
Last week I went to take Jonathan to register for Kindergarten at his assigned school. It's nearly 6 miles away and it takes 2 freeways to get there but that's just the area.  Like all great stories that I've heard about getting lost...It either involved the weather or how much gas was in the car.
In our case it was only the temp outside. it was at least 104 degrees outside. gas was not ever an issue.
Okay so we were lost, and as I was trying to get us onto a road I needed to be on (going back to the freeway and trying this again was an option) I found a park next to a big ditch.
Drove through a residential neighborhood and got back onto a main road just a couple of blocks shy of the school.
we arrived and began the process of de-boarding our car.  There were about 25 people and their kids standing in line.  Since the only shade was next to the building and Sarah was definitely sweating and turning red...I immediately ditched the line and went into the shade... Later I went to the back of the line and did not regret my decision to get into shade.
The time came for them to open the doors and we waited there for 7 minutes.
Never did I know until now I moved to the land legalism (an all the bureaucracy and all the needless paperwork that comes with it).  There were Papers explaining the papers that all it said was the normal stuff, name address, birthday, etc.  But do I REALLY need to fill out a SPOKEN language survey 3 times?
and doesn't your phone and car insurance just as legal as your electric bill since they all say what your address is?
I didn't have a copy of our lease to prove we live here...so they said here's the paperwork, come back when you have it all filled out with the lease.  We did not at the time have a copy of the lease so it was a good thing to go get our copy.
It turns out that we needed to come back this last week for a meeting so they could say they needed to test him.Blah blah...
They don't have IEP's here but ARD's(but the idea is the same)
We are glad we got a medical diagnoses last year because without one we would have been ineligible for services when he turns 6.
The rest I don't understand and I really without a reservation, DOUBT Andrew knows(even though he says he does).  These people weren't speaking plainly and were talking over our heads.  Just do the paperwork FOOLS...Call it what you will it's the same. Apparently, they didn't expect us to know so much about the IDEA law, and didn't expect us to have the paperwork we did (with his diagnosis)... and certainly didn't know we knew they are trained to CUT services and not add them.
Thank you to the lady for emailing me to tell me ahead of time to be prepared for a battle. Helped us to get prepared and prayed up.
They didn't think we could get a pediatrician that fast , but we did that morning and got a solid MD that's got my back on this who will hold these people to what they say so Jonathan and Daniel get what they need to succeed.
Don't mess with....
Okay you're thinking TEXAS
BUT
It's MOMMY

Even when I'm hopelessly lost... I know my child and I know what I need to do to get it done.
We saw a great pediatrician with a hyphenated last name at a practice called MyChildren's.  We were able to get both Jonathan and Daniel in within 1 day. (totally unheard of here to get a new patient appointment. Usually this takes several weeks and maybe there is an appointment available.  God knew I needed that appointment to get everyone settled back with specialists etc and medication.  Sarah will go at the end of September for her 9 month appointment. (thanks to Dr. S for buying us some time)..

Be Blessed

Cherished Children and Starting School

Being a Pal Mommy and having kids of the age of starting school. I thought I might just take this as an opportunity to  explain what a cherished child is.

 What makes a cherished child: A cherished child is in many circles I travel in , any child that was either born or adopted after a loss. They are known by many names: Pal baby, Pal kids etc. Of course all kids are special... but to a PAL mom our kids are cherished

PAL- Pregnancy or Parenting After Loss.  And yes you CAN call yourself a PAL mommy without ever having to be a part of  the webMd or the grad forums. At least here with me and my friends.

I know several in real life (IRL).  One special Mommy to me is in her PAL pregnacy...she's having a girl. Due just after Sarah's birthday after having suffered 8 or more miscarriages and one failed adoption!
I am pretty sure she'd take any and all prayers for her and her baby.

I'm of course looking forward to Jonathan's first day of school. For us this is a long awaited milestone.  We tend to celebrate a lot of things in our family because well, why NOT?
I'm going to take my camera and some tissues because I will definitely be shedding some happy tears.

I posted earlier on Facebook a question and I have friends who will be sending their kiddos off to school for the first day of school...


Kids Starting Kindergarten in 2011

Jonathan (8/22) My Child
Benjamin- Kristy's son
Cheyenne-Alisa Schmoak's daughter Cheyenne
Paul- Kela's Son
Kaden- Heidi's son
Warner- Beth's Son
Amber- Lori's Daughter
Dillon-Amanda's Son
Shayli- Toni's Daughter 




Pre-School or Pre-K
Daniel- (my son) (after he gets tested)
Jordan- Amanda
Derek- Dawn's son (who missed the cut off for registration for Kindergarten by ONE day. What GIVES?)
Athena- Kelli's Daughter
Memphis- Alisa's Daughter

Patrck- son of our friend Brooks and Cynthia (who intentionally missed the cut off by 2 weeks) (whom I consider family)
I know Christy was trying to get Sarai into a preschool.  I hope Patrck got her into one...

Now you know I won't be the only one shedding tears this year  so I'm blessed!

As a praise report a friend of mine named Jennifer started her new job today...I am anxious to hear how it went..

Remembering Christy

This is Christy (also known as Screamingbird for those who knew her on Pregnancy After Loss and the Grad board).
I've known her (without actually meeting her in person) for almost 6 years. I met her on WebMD on one of their forums after I miscarried Samuel. She was one of the first people I got to know.
Like me she was there because she had suffered through a miscarriage. I met a ton of my other friends through the same place the same way. These are my PAL mommies. We've gone on to have cherished children, and grown to share a great deal of friendship.
To be honest I probably can credit my friends advice and support for the kind of parent I am
. We have all shared so much of our lives with each other. We've laughed together and wept and got angry when things were going on with our closest friends.
Christy has a little girl she fought for to even give birth to...I remember when she was put on bedrest.
She had her and her daughter Sarai became a cherished child to this community as do every child in our community.
2 years ago Christy was diagnosed with AML (a form of Lukemia). We watched her fight that disease with everything she had and found herself in remission.
Fast forward to nearly a month ago, when she found out she was sick again with Lukemia. 
As a friend and part of the community we all readied ourselves and rallied together to help her fight.
She went through a round of Chemo and shaved her head (more as a symbolic thing to say this aint going to take my hair or anything else "I got this")
three weeks ago as she was recovering from Chemo and getting ready to go get her bone marrow transplant, she got a fungal lung infection. Her immune system was low due to chemo so although normal people could have easily fought it off, something else happened.
Unfortunately nearly 2 weeks ago the lung infection weakened her heart, and she had a couple of cardiac arrests and passed from this world.
This rocked the PAL mom community to the core. I am certain my feelings are shared to a certain extent. This was a real shock. Everyone who knew her thought she's got this licked. she's going to bounce back.
The only thing is...
She DIDN'T.
And now there's a 4 year old girl (who was adored by her mom) without her mom.

Being a mom with kids around the same age as hers, I immediately bawled for a while, hugged my kids and thought about what would happen to my kids if something like this happened to me.
I guess it's time to go do both a will and a living will. No one wants to think about stuff like this.

It would be impossible to say we are not grieving. We all are and I believe that although she's not in pain and in a better place, she's not here with us.

She is in God's glory. Someday we'll see her again along with the babies that are there with her that we all never had a chance to meet. We'll see her again... For real and she's probably playing scrabble and going streaking through the streets of heaven.
I just want to tell heaven you took another of my friends. a GREAT one. Rest in Peace Christy. We got it.

I am officially and you'll have to excuse me pissed at cancer. I hate you! Stop taking my friends, my family and most of all I hate you for separating moms and their children, and children from their mothers. Both of these totally suck. Please God, I know you hear my prayers find a cure for this horrible thing called cancer. Thanks.

Trina (who is hugging her kids)

My 200th Post- Welcome To Texas

Welcome to my 200th post.
Welcome to Dallas/Fort Worth, TX.

We completed our move in 2 very difficult phases.
First we got a majority of what we owned into a 14 foot trailer. This was a very time consuming and energy consuming task. Even more so in more than 100 degree weather. The rest was either given away, put on pallets to be sent to the retail store that Andrew is working for or sent to a friend's house to be shipped to me later. 
Because our children are very important to us and we were almost certain  that they were feeling the stress of our move we decided with our family friends that it was best if all of the kids and myself traveled via airplane to our destination. This would prevent the pain of traveling for a long time with small children (2 of which are in diapers) and it would also make more room in the vehicle.
We are close family friends with a friend of ours who was able to use her buddy passes and we flew American Airlines. Thank you Cynthia... Our hearts are very grateful for your generosity.  It took a few hours to get on a flight but once we were on, we eventually were on our way... The plane was full of families of Boy scouts. Some were in uniforms..
Both Jonathan and Sarah fell asleep on the plane as soon as we too off. Daniel was a true handful between taking off his seat belt, and trying to take off his clothes and go streaking on the airplane.all whilst being loud and comical.Many people stated that I was really brave for flying with 3 kids.  NO I was INSANE  for flying standby with 3 kids. I was brave for carrying it out. I should be awarded the mommy badge of honor.

Thank you to Jennifer and Jonathan W. and Barbara (also known as Babz and sometimes my anonymous commenter)and  George P.- Barbara hosted us at her home and took us to the airport. We are really grateful for the southern breakfast you made for us because it was after 6:30 pm when  we landed in Texas.
Major thanks to all that came and helped, lent prayer or emotional support.

Andrew left a few days later and drove across several southern states. It took him a day and a half. to get here.

Thanks to a friend's and God's providence, we hired professional movers we stumbled upon whilst driving around our apartment complex. This was a independently owned local company and not a major chain. The owner worked on every job. They were all very nice and within 2 hours all of our stuff was in our third floor apartment. This would have taken Andrew and our friend Brooks 3 weeks in this weather.  And it was well more than worth what we paid for them.  I will never move without movers again! I just wish we had this on the SC side of our move, It would have been much faster..

Here is a picture I took on my phone last night. I hate my new phone. I had to give up my Blackberry Bold. I loved that phone.
The trailer is now back on craigslist for 2600. and Andrew will be looking for another cheap but reliable car to drive himself to work.

Prayer requests- We will be taking Daniel to the School district office here to get his speech assessed to see if he needs speech therapy.  He's not talking very well.
We will also be looking for a great pediatrician. and we need to do this in the next couple of days. We've had a few really rough nights with Sarah whining and crying. While I believe  she's beginning to cut her first tooth, I'd love to rule out other things.

Don't think that for a minute I wasn't going to mention a friend to a lot of my friends of mine... Christy lost her battle with Lukemia on the Friday after I arrived here.  She left behind a 4 year old daughter, a husband and a step daughter who just delivered a healthy baby girl (so she became a grandmother during her last days of life)...
We are all grieving the loss of this friend/sister.
I will be writing in my next post about this.
Be blessed

Saying goodbye

Someone asked me if they could subscribe via email... You can on this  Right hand column at the top---->
 It will email you my posting when I post it...

This week end was full of very challenging emotions.

We had a  going away party at Cantina 1511.
We had invited so many people I thought we weren't going to be able to sit in the area with glass walls called the "fish bowl". Here's a pic of everyone who came. and since I hate it when I look at someone elses photographs and looking at people with no names I will tell you about them below the picture.

Left to Right Top to bottom... and I'll do kids last...
Myself, Andrew. Harold and Donna H, Jonathan and Jennifer W,Crystal O
and her son Ahren(4).
Sarah Grace(6m), Daniel Robert(2 3/4), and Jonathan Andrew(5)- The last  3 are mine :-)

By now you know Andrew and I. Harold we met a long time ago at a Home fellowship. We were worshipping and praying for each other. I prayed for him and a great friendship developed between our family and him..  I also enjoyed Praying on healing teams with him and many others. He met his wife Donna while on a prayer team.  He was married at the age of 80 and is definitely one of those men who never let their age show.
Jennifer and Jonathan we met through mutual friends of ours. Funny how we always make friends from the friends of  others.  Over the years and especially over the last year we have become close.
Jennifer lost her job through no fault of her own  and she needs a job.  She is studying to become a Christian education person, so she can become a youth minister.

Crystal O: We met her and Jim at a home group and became friends. When we first met them Jim and Crystal were newlyweds. They were indeed and still are the cutest and amazing people.

This was so amazing and bittersweet. Amazing because when we moved to the Carolinas  we had been married 6 months and knew absolutely nobody.
Look at our friends, and this picture is but a mere fraction of the amazing friendships we have carved out here.
Bitter sweet because we will not be  seeing them as often as we are used to.

Sunday we went to Antioch... The church we have been at for the past year... We've met so many amazing people there. Our Hearts are really sad to say see you later.
They prayed for us and sent us as missionaries to Texas. Because if you didn't know Texas is like a whole other country. I really hope that isn't a prophetic statement.

I will definitely come back and visit. I love all of these very amazing people. That and I REALLY want to go on the Israel trip with the Wynns. If you would like to contribute to this trip or want to go with me please contact me.v  I will be getting the info myself. 

So Until next time be very blessed.

Moving and other fun activities.

Okay so the last two weeks have been really, really busy at our house.
We have had all the doctors appointments that we normally have at this time of year. We are so glad that we got the chance to see all of our doctors/Specialists.

We went to the Developmental Pediatrician for Jonathan (as you read in my last post)
We went to The pediatrician...In fact we've been twice. Once for a recheck for Daniel and one for Sarah who got the same respiratory bug we all got.
I went to see both my OB/GYN and my Family Medicine doc.- I had a serious bout of Bronchitis and it brought with it several days of having a blazing fever of 104.
I have weaned off of medication temporarily but will probably happily go back on some when I find me a new doctor.
We went and had a visit with Jonathan's genetics doctor...
God I puffy heart that guy.  Sorry to say we totally dreaded the idea of going and seeing him in the beginning as well. Best experience with Jonathan with a specialist (prior to going to developmental peds).
As a side note on the genetics: I will never EVER google un reviewed results ever again. We were thinking Jonathan was dying and had cancer... and were terrified something was about to turn ugly. God was probably definitely giggling at me because it turned out totally stellar. He's fine.

We saw Jonathan's eye doctor...His eyes are stable although we have to wait for his eyes to get worse before we can do anything more.  They were slightly worse, but not enough to do anything but put a patch over one of his eyes.  Forgot which eye I have to do that to so being a human, I will have to call back and fight my way through voice mail.

Andrew- Has gone to both a sleep specialist and his internal medicine doctor.  He now sleeps with a cpap and is totally the quietest sleeper in the house. A CPAP is Continuous Positive Airway Pressure.  It shoots a constant flow of air into his nose.   The machine itself is silent. The chin strap he wears to help keep his mouth closed... Is by far the sexiest thing.  and by sexy I mean this...If it helps him get the restful sleep he needs... then that is the sexiest thing ever. I can sleep in peace knowing everyone is sleeping well.

I am going to leave with a little bit about loading a trailer.  Most of the stuff in my home can be put into the back of a trailer.  Most of the big stuff was absolutely the heaviest stuff ever. We will be hiring a couple of people for a couple of hours (for money and or food/beverages). My back hurts now and hopefully next week our chiropractor can move things back into place.

Be Blesed: Next entry will be about actually leaving and our going away party.
Hopefully Sarah and I will make it out to the DFW area.  We haven't exactly even penciled in how we're getting out there.   This is taking all of my patience and faith... I am a planner and the more I know ahead of time, the better and calmer I am.

Much LOVE

Big Bad Wolf: Misunderstood?

We went to the Developmental pediatrician yesterday for our appointment for Jonathan. Jonathan has been being seen by a developmental pediatrician because he has language, gross motor, fine motor and cognitive delays in his development.  Last summer we did some genetic testing and discovered he has a deletion on the 21st chromosome.  This is so rare, that every time someone gets discovered to have this, all our information about symptoms, development, etc. gets put into a world wide database..
The visit went rather well and it seems that medication for Jonathan's hyper-ness  is working although we just reached a level. Could it be dialed in a little better? Yes, and it will as soon as our move to Euless is completed, and we get us a new pediatrician.

The pediatrician we see only sees kids with developmental or behavior issues. 
I am very glad we got to see the developmental pediatrician.
When I was told by the genetics doctor that we needed to see this guy, my gut reaction was that he was the big bad wolf.
This was the LAST thing I wanted for my child. I didn't need another professional or another human being for that matter, pointing at my child and putting another label on him.
Jonathan is five years old, and has had quite a life of doctors and specialists...I'd prefer at this point to try and limit the trauma from the medical community. He gets traumatized by all the poking and really HATES blood work.
I went on a facebook page a couple of my friends had been on.  It's called Shut up About Your Perfect Kid. It's a community of people who are either parents of special kids or someone who works with them or just loves one.
This page is actually created by the authors of a book of the same name.  Although I haven't read this book yet (shrugs and hangs my head in shame) and I will... Trust me it's in my amazon shopping cart right now.
I went there with questions, and got not only an answer, but also a ton of encouragement and support.
Someone suggested that I take my son to see what they said and not to worry, these aren't finger pointers.

I was really pregnant at the time with Sarah and had just spent a week in the hospital in November. I drove slightly outside the 40 minute circle of late pregnancy. I actually drove 40 miles.
I was not really sure what to expect other than feeling like I had completed  an application to the ministry school I graduated from AGAIN. There were so many steps in getting him seen there, that made completing mortgage paperwork seem like it was EASY.
When we came to the appointment and finally met the doctor I was so shocked. He was so easy to talk to just because of his manner and not just because he looked like a friend of ours named Brooks.
 He answered every question I had, that he could answer. Gave me names of books I could read, and educated me on Individual Education Plans (or more commonly know as an IEP).
He was NOT the Big Bad Wolf that I thought he would be. In fact he became more of a coach, a teacher, and a cheer leader.
Which leads me to ask: What things are you afraid of?
When you really look that unknown thing down, is it realistic to be afraid of it or we just afraid of too much?
Just as a matter of fact, there are real things that we should be afraid of;just to keep us safe.I am not trying to reduce that reality, at all. 
I just checked off another thing I was afraid of off our list and it's an exciting experience.

Be Blessed and go conquer your giants!

Riverbanks Zoo & Edventure- Columbia SC

This weekend marked the ending of Pre-K for Jonathan. Since there was no graduation ceremony, we decided to use our various coupons we had gathered for Columbia, South Carolina to mark this milestone.  The next milestone for Jonathan will be the first day of Kindergarden, which will be in the Hurst EulessBedford School (HEB)district after we move next month to Euless, Texas.

Coupons/gift cards used on this Trip:
1 free nights stay at Embassy Suites-Graystone (purchased for a song at a March of Dimes Silent auction)
4 General admission passes to Riverbanks Zoo and Gardens (also purchased for a song at a silent auction)
1-$50 gift card to Di Prados-as a part of the zoo package that was at the silent auction.
4 passes to Edventure- This was a Groupon

Riverbanks Zoo and Garden-
This was and always has been a favorite destination of our family. I give it 2 thumbs up.
Everything was very accessible with our stroller. Even the Garden tram had a ramp.

 EdVenture- For ages 4 and up 2 thumbs up. For ages 3 and Under Two thumbs down.

Okay My kids ages: 5 years old, Nearly 3 years old and 5 months.
We had several problems with this place as soo as we walked in the place. This place was not stroller friendly, although there was an elevator.
Many of their doorways were either too narrow or cut in half by building columns. I couldn't get through some of the stuff and the other part I could I felt as though I was blocking the flow of traffic.
For a museum this is bad.
When we went to turn in our groupon that we had purchased, they tried to sell us passes to their butterfly exhibit... Only thing was they did not mention we could not take our stroller, and when confronted about it stated it was a USDA rule... However, they were the ones who sold us the ticket KNOWING we had a stroller.. (scratches head and shrugs). Not to worry though. Andrew took Jonathan although the ticket was originally purchased for me. We were able to see about half of their exhibits
The Three and under set- Big thumbs down. They had one single room in the place cordoned off that had foamy toys and like a play stove and a play ship.  They also had a soft area for babies that was out of line sight wise,obviously having both kids in both places wasn't going to do. We ditched the infant area quickly.
I will give them a positive for trying though. They stuck a family bathroom in there as well although it was really tight to get in because of another building column.  This whole place was poorly ventilated and when we were there it was HOT.
Since we have developmental and Language delays this place was a challenge although still enjoyable.
If I were to say anything to another parent with a child with any kind of disability about this place... Go when your your child reaches a developmental equivalent of 42 months.(that's nearly 4). I say this because this is where Jonathan is in some things and he's just starting to enjoy stuff like this.

Di Pratos- Lovely Brunch- Deli style. Order at the counter. Great food. Very reasonable.  Great selection for kids menu. Awesome quality for the price.

 It was this week end I discovered I really want to begin not writing about our  adventures, but also some of the destinations; because sometimes as a special needs parent I am experiencing places differently than other people. We all need to know. If we had known this before hand We would have either not have gone OR we would have taken the Under three kids, whom I call the "Littles" out to a park or gone on to the hotel.

 Sarah in the play area. she enjoyed this. although we do this at home.

That was pretty much our trip. Hope you enjoyed this.
Until next time.
Be Blessed

Last day of Pre-K... Thoughts of gratitude

Before I start to  here to thank a lot of people here, I will give you a point of reference so you can sort of get how far Mr. Jonathan (aka Mr. J).

When He turned 3...We were just beginning to teach him how to go up and down stairs... He fell down ALOT. Which scared both Andrew and myself. 
He has a lot of issues with Balance... He would fall down just out of nowhere.  He got that honest... Right Dad? Andrew STILL does this, and I'm ashamed to say I think it's funny.
OKAY I am so bad.

Balance is very important for walking and running...heck even standing up. Both Jonathan and myself have to really work at it. It's part of the rare genetic disorder we both share.

He is falling down way less now.

When He started pre-k when he was 3 years old. He  was basically non verbal. He had a vocabulary of about 20 words. He would scream a lot and have temper tantrums our of his frustration.
It was sad and frustrating  for us as well. I am so sure I've written about it here before.
Now that he's 5, he can tell you some stories... and although some of his words STILL don't make sense he can tell you a story. He has had some interesting dreams.

Baby You've come a LOOONG way!

 He does a lot of other stuff now like write his name.  He loves to  draw.
He LOVES the computer... and his favorite game right now is Monopoly(which is on facebook)

This morning was bittersweet for me because without this school, he would not be talking or running around and being the smart little boy I always knew he was.
The only thing is my sweet little boy; you know the one we brought home from the nicu on oxygen, is growing up.
Several people to thank here.

First the folks from Easter Seals Early intervention. You were my sanity. You made life with Jonathan a little easier to deal with.
Thank you to the Exceptional Child dept. at the Rock Hill School District...
Especially Miss Kristen, and the other therapists who worked with him... Thanks for always answering our questions.
Special, special thanks to Mrs. Ard and Mrs. Puckett. Without you pouring your love into Jonathan and  the other kids, we wouldn't have seen as much progress. Don't ever think that will ever go unnoticed.
You both deserve teachers of the year! Thanks for also teaching us about IEP's.
That and oh yes, I will never ever be mad at the decision to move him to the other class. We were all working towards this as a goal of his.

To my dear Antioch family, who've all Put your arms around my son, at one time or another in Sunday school, I credit you guys and the prayers you've prayed for him. Our God is bigger.

Getting Ready...To move our nest

This is a Frequently Asked Question Blog entry

Where you ask are we moving?

Euless,TX

Why would we possibly want to move there.  Look at a map of the DFW area, and tell me WHY NOT.
There are over 400 Distribution Centers in the area, which is SUPER for Andrew.

Do we have family there?  It totally depends on your definition of family. We have  close friends who are more family to us than our own family.
As for blood  related Kin...They live elsewhere.

Gonna miss us like something Terrible? We have just entered the world of Skype. We can talk to  anyone, anywhere and have it feel like you are next door.

How do I feel about this...
It's so mixed right now it's totally not funny.. After spending the last 13 years here in the Carolinas, it has become home. My children were born in Charlotte. My dearest friends that I have made are here.
Most of my support system is  here.
Our pediatrician, Dr. S, whom we adore is here.  We kind of joked about making him move with us.
We have so many memories. Many great memories, some okay memories, and some we'd rather learned from and left it there in the past.

I am positive though that we can find us a new pediatrician and etc.
Friends however to me are forever and I want each and every one of my local friends to know how much they mean to me.


Jennifer- I Love you girl. May all of your heart's desires be fulfilled! I am praying for you. You are so amazing and your heart is huge. Thank you so much for sharing your journeys with me as much as I shared mine with you. Nothing will ever be enough to repay you.

Katie K.- From the first time I met you...You were a blessing.Your heart for others is beautiful. I am praying for great things for your family. Thank you also for sharing your journey with us. oh and by the way you know friendship never ends...Neither do our prayers. You are an amazing woman and mother.

Barbara P.- Did I mention that we LOVE you... Thank you for ultimate blessings and encouragement.  I remember when we were trying to conceive and frustrated and you told me to call your doctor up. We did and I have 2 of our 3 kids here out of that office. Love and laughter is a gift...
Your wedding was also a great gift. I do not know how but God just decided to show up.I will never forget the priceless look of awe on Daniel's face as you got ready to go through double doors in the chapel.

There are so many more friends I will call or facebook people I would like to speak to...

For now my amazing friends, be richly blessed.

March for Babies 2011- in pictures

one of these is from a couple of weeks ago

"March for babies 2011"

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Revelations of a special mommy

Revelations of an imperfect Mommy

About a week ago as I was hanging out with our family at a place that is known for their potatoes ;) something happened that at the time made my eyes roll. Later I had a sweet revelation that made me appreciate what I have.
What happened: I was having dinner with the family just minding my own beeswax when I hear this other mom about 20 feet away talking on  a cell phone (quite loudly). She was what I would call bragging on her kid and talking about other kids on her child's soccer team...sometimes not in a good way.
This made me just sick to my stomach and roll my eyes. Good grief. Is your life that dull and boring that you feel you need to live through other people to get some excitement.... Then I had an epiphany, I will NEVER be that Soccer,PTA, get decked out to pick up my kid at school kind of mom.
Now as a disclaimer if my kids by some miracle want to participate in sports...I am there and cheering for them. I know how hard Jonathan has been working on everything so I will be extra happy no matter what he chooses to do.

I have currently one child who has special needs and I'll be the first to tell you if you don't already know that sometimes I get myself in a pickle by comparing my child to another child. The other two kids so far haven't shown any signs of a problem although speech development will be an issue for Daniel.
I believe a lot of parents get into comparing their kids even if it's their siblings. I'm so guilty of this.I am even more guilty when it's other people's kids.

Sometimes it's just great to step back and fully appreciate just how far we've all come.
Right before I became a mom it mattered to me what people thought of me. I wanted people to like me. I tried to please everyone. I even kind of lived through what my husband did.
After I had Jonathan and went through the trauma of the nicu, and the experience of home oxygen, I realized something.
 I don't really have to please everyone to be thought of well. I can say no. I don't have to be at every social event everyone has.
my kids are on their own journey, and I just happen to be with them, or is it vice-versa. I cannot live through them or I will miss my own life and the lives of my kids.
I sometimes only have enough time and energy for my kids and their needs, that if I'm lucky MAYBE I can take a shower. I do however, have time if a friend needs something and can have patience knowing I have young kids that only are slightly fluent in english. I am not a human translator decoder. Please don't treat me like one by asking me to translate something one of my kids said. I only know things about fifty percent of the time....
Case in point: The other day Jonathan was going on and on talking about "circle ice". It took us all day and 3 of us to figure out that he was talking about the hail that he had seen while we were on our way to attend a memorial of a dear friend of ours Fred.  The hail was nearly dime sized.
I know I can't please  everyone. Not even myself sometimes, so what's up with me wanting to please everyone else?
My prayer is for everyone to enjoy what they have in front of them to do. Find something to be passionate about and do that. Find your purpose.

A dear friend of ours, who had battled cancer for several years, passed away last week. It was really not that hard telling Jonathan that Fred had passed away... We told him that Fred went to live with Jesus and that he wasn't sick anymore and he wasn't coming back.. That was it and he had no more questions and was okay with that. we told him that we were sad and that was okay.

Fred was passionate about what his wife Darlene is doing for Urban communities. He was a great example to others of how to be a great man and husband. We will miss him...but we know we will see him again when out time comes to go to heaven.
Currently since having Sarah, I have been experiencing some post-partum depression. It's not that I'm not the luckiest and most blessed person on the face of the planet. I am. My kids are pretty awesome even on their worst days.
It's not that I'm totally self-focused...Most days I feel like the sun with multiple planets rotating around me.
While one kid may be sleeping, another one may want to eat, while another one may need help on the potty.
I'm super happy about them all but ecstatic about the latter. Jonathan is semi day trained. semi as in he can poop on the toddler potty and stand up to pee with the regular potty. Pooping on the regular potty not yet. But at least it's major progress. I'm always happy about that.
Jonathan transitioned to a regular class on Valentines day  and seems to be doing well. The transition to the really early mornings NOT SO MUCH.
Maybe this thing too, shall pass with time...Only time shall tell.
Until next time be blessed and enjoy the journey.
We have our challenges, BUT we persevere and learn from it.