Revelations of a special mommy

Revelations of an imperfect Mommy

About a week ago as I was hanging out with our family at a place that is known for their potatoes ;) something happened that at the time made my eyes roll. Later I had a sweet revelation that made me appreciate what I have.
What happened: I was having dinner with the family just minding my own beeswax when I hear this other mom about 20 feet away talking on  a cell phone (quite loudly). She was what I would call bragging on her kid and talking about other kids on her child's soccer team...sometimes not in a good way.
This made me just sick to my stomach and roll my eyes. Good grief. Is your life that dull and boring that you feel you need to live through other people to get some excitement.... Then I had an epiphany, I will NEVER be that Soccer,PTA, get decked out to pick up my kid at school kind of mom.
Now as a disclaimer if my kids by some miracle want to participate in sports...I am there and cheering for them. I know how hard Jonathan has been working on everything so I will be extra happy no matter what he chooses to do.

I have currently one child who has special needs and I'll be the first to tell you if you don't already know that sometimes I get myself in a pickle by comparing my child to another child. The other two kids so far haven't shown any signs of a problem although speech development will be an issue for Daniel.
I believe a lot of parents get into comparing their kids even if it's their siblings. I'm so guilty of this.I am even more guilty when it's other people's kids.

Sometimes it's just great to step back and fully appreciate just how far we've all come.
Right before I became a mom it mattered to me what people thought of me. I wanted people to like me. I tried to please everyone. I even kind of lived through what my husband did.
After I had Jonathan and went through the trauma of the nicu, and the experience of home oxygen, I realized something.
 I don't really have to please everyone to be thought of well. I can say no. I don't have to be at every social event everyone has.
my kids are on their own journey, and I just happen to be with them, or is it vice-versa. I cannot live through them or I will miss my own life and the lives of my kids.
I sometimes only have enough time and energy for my kids and their needs, that if I'm lucky MAYBE I can take a shower. I do however, have time if a friend needs something and can have patience knowing I have young kids that only are slightly fluent in english. I am not a human translator decoder. Please don't treat me like one by asking me to translate something one of my kids said. I only know things about fifty percent of the time....
Case in point: The other day Jonathan was going on and on talking about "circle ice". It took us all day and 3 of us to figure out that he was talking about the hail that he had seen while we were on our way to attend a memorial of a dear friend of ours Fred.  The hail was nearly dime sized.
I know I can't please  everyone. Not even myself sometimes, so what's up with me wanting to please everyone else?
My prayer is for everyone to enjoy what they have in front of them to do. Find something to be passionate about and do that. Find your purpose.

A dear friend of ours, who had battled cancer for several years, passed away last week. It was really not that hard telling Jonathan that Fred had passed away... We told him that Fred went to live with Jesus and that he wasn't sick anymore and he wasn't coming back.. That was it and he had no more questions and was okay with that. we told him that we were sad and that was okay.

Fred was passionate about what his wife Darlene is doing for Urban communities. He was a great example to others of how to be a great man and husband. We will miss him...but we know we will see him again when out time comes to go to heaven.
Currently since having Sarah, I have been experiencing some post-partum depression. It's not that I'm not the luckiest and most blessed person on the face of the planet. I am. My kids are pretty awesome even on their worst days.
It's not that I'm totally self-focused...Most days I feel like the sun with multiple planets rotating around me.
While one kid may be sleeping, another one may want to eat, while another one may need help on the potty.
I'm super happy about them all but ecstatic about the latter. Jonathan is semi day trained. semi as in he can poop on the toddler potty and stand up to pee with the regular potty. Pooping on the regular potty not yet. But at least it's major progress. I'm always happy about that.
Jonathan transitioned to a regular class on Valentines day  and seems to be doing well. The transition to the really early mornings NOT SO MUCH.
Maybe this thing too, shall pass with time...Only time shall tell.
Until next time be blessed and enjoy the journey.
We have our challenges, BUT we persevere and learn from it.