Trust and faith

Things no one can take from me.
My memories
My love
my faith in God
My past
My present

Everything else is highly debatable and before I get too philisophical or what some may say is religious (that would be way too easy) what I am trying to do here is remind myself that the things around me can feel like they are crumbling or dying away but certain things will NEVER change. God is immovable, He never changes.

Although sometimes I have memories I cannot deal with and would rather not ever have, I know that somehow God will work it out for his good. Even though it hurts, even though it's scary...
I shutter to think what life would be like without having been in the places I've been in and met the people I have. Most have been great to know, some have touched me, a few have changed my life.

No I'm not getting nostalgic, or homesick because home is where you are(where ever that may be).
I think of how life is and where we are currently. How life comes from ashes and where there is beauty in it.
I would not be standing here with my two beautiful boys if it were not for a LOT of ashes.
Jonathan was conceived after the loss of our baby "Samuel"(1/29/05). And Daniel was conceived 3 months after the loss of our baby "Hannah"(8/31/08) . I would not have the friends that I do, nor be at the church I'm at etc... if it weren't for parts of my journey..
We would be telling a whole different story had Toni (a friend of mine from a parenting board)
not had convinced me it was worth asking a doctor's opinion about future pregnancies.
Jonathan taught us some really HARD lessons and we were determined to learn from them.
We thank God we listened and fought for what we needed as I lay on the delivery table hearing the screams of newborn Daniel. (some things I hope I never EVER forget)

Currently we are in a holding pattern as we heal from wounds received in an unexpected place. but even if you don't believe in God or anything know this. Whether you think you are safe or not is up to you and you can decide to put up walls in defense and keep everyone out OR you can take a bigger step and face your fears and decide that maybe some people burned you or people talked bad about you, but not everyone is like that.
People are worth knowing whether or not you trust them is completely up to you.