The reason why we left

First of all we are very happy we are at Forest Hill Church right now and very happy that we listened to the Lord as to coming there...no regrets except of course the life group thing which the effects are being healed from along with some things in life that needed healing.
That being said, last night we went to a benefit concert that a ministry was having for Samaritan's Purse and my friend Darlene's ministry called Power Team Inc.. at MorningStar..
We had not stepped foot anywhere near there as we felt there really is no reason to other than the people we left there.
It was strange and although we saw some people and saw more of the same type deal. Some folks just talked to us like we never left. Although in some respects that was awesome, where I am in my universe that felt a little weird. I was visiting, and I hadn't been there in a while... give me a break.
During the concert as soon as it started, Daniel started screaming and wouldn't stop. I took him into a hallway and held him as I sat down on the floor next to a wall. He calmed down as I was feeding him a bottle. I stayed there the whole time because I didn't want him starting back up again.

Since it was really a personal decision to leave MorningStar , I would be lying if I said it was an easy one to make. A large part of me at the time did not want to leave.
We knew a lot of people and had really great friends. Friends I could laugh and cry with. When I saw them all they had was LOVE for me... asked me why I didn't tell them we were leaving.
That was OK to ask me that because of the level of transparency I've had with people. I tried to tell them the whole process.
It really stung me and caught me off guard. I was not expecting to be missed. Oh my Lord.

When we were able to discern we were supposed to leave, it was very, very hard because we wanted to be able to leave, and not have hard feelings towards anyone;which took a few months before we finally left.
We had to decide where we wanted to go. The life group we had been in most of them were leaving as well to Antioch. Many of them our close friends...close enough to consider our family... but we didn't want to go somewhere and have it just be MorningStar 2nd edition.
Our hearts were not at a place where we were sync'd up with what was going on at MorningStar. In fact it was when there was a lot of questionable teaching on finances that went against pretty much everything that the Bible teaches and that for us is reason enough to leave. At a certain point Andrew pointed out that we were going more to see our friends than to worship. I know (GASP). Andrew was finding it hard to find the motivation to get himself out of bed on Sunday, and that is enough for me to say "Houston, we have a problem".

We felt comfortable with our decision to go to Forest Hill. We wanted to start fresh. It was a bit calmer and we didn't have to do anything to be loved, we just had to just be ourselves; although we had friends who loved us that way.
A bonus was that the heart of this church is to reach, transform and serve. Every Lifegroup in the church does something for someone else whether here or in Africa. To us that in itself was awesome.
For the entire first year we knew 3 people and that was fine. It took that long to even have the opportunity to become involved in a life group.
Having come from a large church we understood that the small groups are how life works and how you get to know anyone. That and volunteering but although we wanted to we just didn't feel released to do it.
Right now we are to the place where we want to be involved again, not because we have a driving need, but just because we do not feel like being spectators and we want to give ourselves away... That's just how we're wired.
Our relationship with God is like this...It's a reationship full of get to's not have to or should. Grace is enough. I don't have to do anything. But I get to, and that is always awesome.

To Robin: I am so very sorry I never told you that we were leaving. I ask you to forgive me. we've been friends for a long time and I love you for you and I am so glad I know you. You've taught me that I am a daughter of a King and that I can ask for anything because I am someone to the Lord.
To Bonnie: I'm sorry as well and I ask you to forgive me. I love you and value your precious heart. I am so glad we are sisters in the Lord. You taught me lessons in obedience through your adventures and life.

I'd lastly like to say this. as a family we have decided never to live in regret. I can honestly say we don't regret the time we spent at MorningStar. There are some great friends that we have had great memories with. There were also some great times with worship and serving that one can not forget. Some of which friendships were made that were and are truly divine.
When we heard the call of battle off in the distance, we were not running away from it by leaving, we were going towards it. It wouldn't have been wise to stay somewhere where there would have been no support other than friends. Although in some respects friends are what got us through the whole nicu experience with Jonathan that was not what the Lord wanted.
Shortly after we left(about a month) we found out that we were pregnant again(we tried again).
August rolled around and on the 31st we sadly micarried.
Although we had been there a short time at Forest Hill, we were treated with love and care. Our loss was treated with the upmost respect(that it deserved).
3 months later, we got pregnant(almost by prayer) again. This time we carried the pregnancy to nearly 41 weeks(40 is normal for a pregnancy) and got better care and betamethasone for lungs.
Daniel is nearly 5 months. Jonathan is 3 months shy of being 3.
That's enough for right now.