Friday, April 9, 2010
Shirt and our walk
make custom gifts at Zazzle
There is only Two weeks left and then we walk.
Walk day is an exciting day for us. Along with the money we raise, this is a day we celebrate the fact that Jonathan would not be here if it weren't for The research and the medicine that the march of dimes funded and developed... Secondly without having Jonathan, we wouldn't have had the opportunity to get special care while pregnant with Daniel and have an amniocentesis and betamethasone ;which saved us a lot of heartache and time in the Nicu... Jonathan became Daniel's hero the day Daniel was born.
There is still enough time if you want to walk with us... Just go click on my March of Dimes Widget. There are 2 buttons : Give or Donate or Walk With me.
We would LOVE to see all of you give or even better Join me in the walking part. You don't have to walk the entire thing.
I posted a long hidden video I just discovered on our team page. It was of us with Jonathan when he was on the oscillator at the new hospital. He had just been moved.
Be blessed and Help me get the bar to move by giving...
If you decide to give you can also leave a message that will show up.
Please help us Reach our Goal... These Babies are worth it... Trust me
Thursday, April 1, 2010
I'm not Shopping
Just a thought...
Ever visit a church or just join a mommies group or a life group and totally feel like you took someone else's seat?
This really did happen.
Recently we tried to change churches and that is how I felt. I really didn't want to feel that way. Even though I knew a ton of people there. It was just like playing 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon but with Andrew and Trina.
Honestly it was probably more of me and my stuff than anyone else. I was hoping being around people I have known for a long time would help lessen anxiety I've been dealing with for a couple of years. Turns out that isn't really the case and it's the same whether I am known by a lot of people or totally invisible (only a few know us).
We will try this again when Andrew's week end part time Pizza throwing changes a little bit. Logistical issues are our main issue.
We felt like the grace or "want to" had warn off or left where we were. We prayed about it and so we tried changing churches. No we are NOT church shopping at all. We were feeling it was time to go there but apparently it's a timing issue. Jonathan was happy (good sign but not a good barometer of how great a place it is).
It wasn't how much love we felt from a lot of people that were there or whether or not the pastor came by and shook hands with us. We love him by the way. It wasn't the greeters or the ushers or the kids folks. It was me. I felt like although they knew me... things in my life had changed and I have no way of explaining that to anyone.
I was back to feeling like my heart was shattered again. Like I have to explain what happened that caused me and my family heartache and pain, they all knew.
I found myself putting up walls trying to insulate myself from what I felt was an inevitable betrayal. Funny how I felt that way when most of the core group had been with us during our pregnancy with Jonathan and through the nicu stay... But I will say this again...It's me, Not you. We will try this again as it's more of a when than an if.
I guess it is a forgiveness issue and the hurt that came from it.(not to mention some really nasty memories from the past).
We went back to Forest Hill on Sundays, and although we have pulled Daniel out of the nursery indefinitely. Feeling like we were being burnt to a crisp every 3 weeks(working as a volunteer). I was exhausted meanwhile I was working though some crazy emotional stuff. Not a great mix. So we stepped down... we are still able to worship in a family viewing room.
I feel like some of the grace was renewed and I went back to the life group I was enjoying, I love being stretched and these ladies and I have learned so much about what we believe about praying and who God the Three-in-one is...
The above happened too for a while and I had panic attacks on the way there for a few weeks until I started to KNOW these people. That in itself was unbelievable how healing that was.
As I write this I am suffering from a sinus infection that sparred from my spring allergies and yes folks The trees are a blooming big time due to all the rain we had.
As I write this I am looking at a stack of papers I need to fill out before Jonathan's neurology appt. on the 14th of Apr, at this point I need some help filling this out or I feel I am not doing Jonathan a good thing by taking him... May of these are about his behavior so I might email his teacher and ask what she's seen.
I am a great advocate for him. We are going to go get his spots on his torso looked at they are called caffe au lait spots and look as though someone spilled coffee on him.
I won't be giving you a link to info like normal and I ask you not to send me any info on this as I need to stay in a calm place to appropriately be Jonathan's advocate.
I only tend to post conditions after the fact we know something. I like to not go looking for trouble and search the internet for this. It makes me fret full. I have several friends I've made a pact with to not do this or they kick my tail.
Not what I want or need to feel walking into the unknown... I just hope God steps in and does something special for Jonathan.
I have the wonderful memories of our first walk (March of Dimes) with Jonathan(while I was preggo with Daniel) and how special it was to be around other special kids like him who fought hard to be here.. I especially enjoyed being able to pray for and record them releasing a balloon in honor of their friend's baby born at 25 weeks and fighting.
It was great we released balloons in honor of Sarah's Daughter Kenadie and Shayli (naked lizard). I always shed tears and always come away feeling a lot better. I cannot wait for this year as maybe we tell our story, and how some of you helped me finally take some advice to go see a perinatologist..
That is so awesome.
anyways be Blessed
Ever visit a church or just join a mommies group or a life group and totally feel like you took someone else's seat?
This really did happen.
Recently we tried to change churches and that is how I felt. I really didn't want to feel that way. Even though I knew a ton of people there. It was just like playing 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon but with Andrew and Trina.
Honestly it was probably more of me and my stuff than anyone else. I was hoping being around people I have known for a long time would help lessen anxiety I've been dealing with for a couple of years. Turns out that isn't really the case and it's the same whether I am known by a lot of people or totally invisible (only a few know us).
We will try this again when Andrew's week end part time Pizza throwing changes a little bit. Logistical issues are our main issue.
We felt like the grace or "want to" had warn off or left where we were. We prayed about it and so we tried changing churches. No we are NOT church shopping at all. We were feeling it was time to go there but apparently it's a timing issue. Jonathan was happy (good sign but not a good barometer of how great a place it is).
It wasn't how much love we felt from a lot of people that were there or whether or not the pastor came by and shook hands with us. We love him by the way. It wasn't the greeters or the ushers or the kids folks. It was me. I felt like although they knew me... things in my life had changed and I have no way of explaining that to anyone.
I was back to feeling like my heart was shattered again. Like I have to explain what happened that caused me and my family heartache and pain, they all knew.
I found myself putting up walls trying to insulate myself from what I felt was an inevitable betrayal. Funny how I felt that way when most of the core group had been with us during our pregnancy with Jonathan and through the nicu stay... But I will say this again...It's me, Not you. We will try this again as it's more of a when than an if.
I guess it is a forgiveness issue and the hurt that came from it.(not to mention some really nasty memories from the past).
We went back to Forest Hill on Sundays, and although we have pulled Daniel out of the nursery indefinitely. Feeling like we were being burnt to a crisp every 3 weeks(working as a volunteer). I was exhausted meanwhile I was working though some crazy emotional stuff. Not a great mix. So we stepped down... we are still able to worship in a family viewing room.
I feel like some of the grace was renewed and I went back to the life group I was enjoying, I love being stretched and these ladies and I have learned so much about what we believe about praying and who God the Three-in-one is...
The above happened too for a while and I had panic attacks on the way there for a few weeks until I started to KNOW these people. That in itself was unbelievable how healing that was.
As I write this I am suffering from a sinus infection that sparred from my spring allergies and yes folks The trees are a blooming big time due to all the rain we had.
As I write this I am looking at a stack of papers I need to fill out before Jonathan's neurology appt. on the 14th of Apr, at this point I need some help filling this out or I feel I am not doing Jonathan a good thing by taking him... May of these are about his behavior so I might email his teacher and ask what she's seen.
I am a great advocate for him. We are going to go get his spots on his torso looked at they are called caffe au lait spots and look as though someone spilled coffee on him.
I won't be giving you a link to info like normal and I ask you not to send me any info on this as I need to stay in a calm place to appropriately be Jonathan's advocate.
I only tend to post conditions after the fact we know something. I like to not go looking for trouble and search the internet for this. It makes me fret full. I have several friends I've made a pact with to not do this or they kick my tail.
Not what I want or need to feel walking into the unknown... I just hope God steps in and does something special for Jonathan.
I have the wonderful memories of our first walk (March of Dimes) with Jonathan(while I was preggo with Daniel) and how special it was to be around other special kids like him who fought hard to be here.. I especially enjoyed being able to pray for and record them releasing a balloon in honor of their friend's baby born at 25 weeks and fighting.
It was great we released balloons in honor of Sarah's Daughter Kenadie and Shayli (naked lizard). I always shed tears and always come away feeling a lot better. I cannot wait for this year as maybe we tell our story, and how some of you helped me finally take some advice to go see a perinatologist..
That is so awesome.
anyways be Blessed
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
March For Babies
As Promised Yesterday on Facebook I asked if anyone Had a March of Dimes Team They were walking with...
So Far I have 3 That have shared their walk page.... I will add more if anyone
Each of these Teams are walking with a passion. Some are walking for their own children who were born prematurely, Others are walking for their Children who just were born too small and too soon, and were born still.
Each Of these teams can tell you. This organization matters.This is a cause that effects everyone.
My Teams Widget is on this page(on one of these sidebars) You can give securely on any of these walk pages and you can use your company's matching gifts programs (if they offer it).
Sarah's Team- The Baby Byrd's- She also has a blog Here
So Far I have 3 That have shared their walk page.... I will add more if anyone
Each of these Teams are walking with a passion. Some are walking for their own children who were born prematurely, Others are walking for their Children who just were born too small and too soon, and were born still.
Each Of these teams can tell you. This organization matters.This is a cause that effects everyone.
My Teams Widget is on this page(on one of these sidebars) You can give securely on any of these walk pages and you can use your company's matching gifts programs (if they offer it).
Sarah's Team- The Baby Byrd's- She also has a blog Here
Alyssa Auger- Mommy and Me of The Eastern Panhandle
Tracy Stanek- Team Zoe E.
Each of Them has a story and they would be glad to tell you why they walk.
In Our family we have several- 2 of them are Jonathan and Daniel. Their stories are on our walk page and all the way through this blog. Just ask and I will tell you.
Soon their stories will have their very own dedicated page Right here on this blog so you don't have to go Digging through all our entries..
Be Blessed
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Peddle a tricycle Jonathan!
As Promised Here is the video of Jonathan reaching his goal of Peddling a bike. The voice in the background is that of his teacher. Mrs. A
Jonathan's Birthday at school. Love the hat! :) Last year on this day he was starting school!
Birthday candles---There are four of them
Blessings
Monday, March 15, 2010
Happy 4th Birthday
Jonathan Andrew!!!!
You were born on March 16,2006 at 12:58 pm, Weighing 8 pounds 14 oz. 20 1/2 inches long. You were The son who made me a MOMMY. You are very loved and very much a giant piece of all of us. You are the first live born kid we had You are a PAL Baby.
.
Happy Fourth Birthday to My Hero. You are so incredible. I love watching you reach for all of your goals with the determination and the heart you do..
It's so hard to believe how 4 years ago you were born. You've fought and won many battles as early on in your life you were fighting for your life. We are so very blessed you chose to stay with us.
Miracles happen and you just happen to be looking at one. He can peddle a bike (will post that here as soon as I get the video from his teacher from when he finally met this goal)
Happy Birthday to "The sweetest Child anyone's ever taught" and to Mr. J our Little man...
Love
Mommy, Daddy, Daniel and all of your friends.
Please Consider either Giving to The March of Dimes or Walking with us on April 24th. Here is our Page
So Very Blessed to have you!
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Confused but not anymore
Someone tell me if I am okay... Maybe you can give me advice.
Okay, I got in a groove kept on going for a long time... Life in our house can be a challenge but somehow we we just manage to make that a normal thing. I try not to dwell on the challenges themselves, otherwise I wouldn't be able to enjoy the subtle victories and all of the sweet moments.
I pretty much have a lot of structure for the boys since Jonathan seems to really thrive on a schedule. There are exceptions to this as life happens, but without a schedule or a routineI'd die be totally always be late for everything and never have important things done.
We try to take everything in stride as we are pretty laid back by nature.
The Article That sent me into utter confusion
Article Here
One day last week I was doing stuff on facebook after the kids were in bed. I get a message in my inbox. Someone sent me an article on Apraxia (language disorder where the brain knows the words but the mouth and all it's muscles just can't finish the job).
This person meant well and I can understand she was just sharing information that someone sent her because her son is been diagnosed as having it.
Ever google something you've been diagnosed with and it totally freaked you out.? Yes, this was the case . Sort of.
To me this was terrifying. Maybe I'll ask about this to his pediatrician. Maybe I just need to take a deep breath and pray. Maybe his peeps are missing the whole picture and I don't know what to do about that.
It took me some time to shake all of that off. Like I said I try not to focus too much on what he can't do and focus on the things the He CAN do.
I think of all of the stuff he's currently doing...Simply amazing.
Currently he is 13 days from turning 4 years old and right now besides saying his name he has been doing things like put his toys away, put dirty clothes in the basket, and help with his brother in a more limited way.
He's also good at saying mommy over and over again... And when he sees daddy being sleepy he says "Daddy's sleepy just like Fire fighter truck(Fire Truck) is sleepy". Some of the stuff although totally and utterly is honest has us totally tickled. We try not to laugh too much.
I took him with me to the fire station to drop off some cardboard and the fire trucks were inside. I told him that they were sleeping...
He then says "Wake up Fire fighter Trucks!". Now to you or I we know that when we see a fire truck they are going to a call or a fire. I do not wish for that to happen but it does. We have totally told him that they need to sleep and only come out for fires or when people call them.
Andrew almost made a huge feux paux by telling him about the fire alarm. Oh my Lord he almost pulled it. :\
He's forgotten about that but to an almost 4 year old he'd see a fire truck one way or another. Bad daddy moment for sure. ;)
That's our life for sure right now and Daniel is moments from learning to RUN. We are beside ourselves as Daniel was talking to me saying "Daniel Good boy.".
Here is a video I found. I've been curious about different places so I went to you tube. Here is the Video
It's actually a guy who drives and films his trips on different roads. Awesome. This is actually the roads we drive around on so you know the area I live in.
Be blessed.
Okay, I got in a groove kept on going for a long time... Life in our house can be a challenge but somehow we we just manage to make that a normal thing. I try not to dwell on the challenges themselves, otherwise I wouldn't be able to enjoy the subtle victories and all of the sweet moments.
I pretty much have a lot of structure for the boys since Jonathan seems to really thrive on a schedule. There are exceptions to this as life happens, but without a schedule or a routine
We try to take everything in stride as we are pretty laid back by nature.
The Article That sent me into utter confusion
Article Here
One day last week I was doing stuff on facebook after the kids were in bed. I get a message in my inbox. Someone sent me an article on Apraxia (language disorder where the brain knows the words but the mouth and all it's muscles just can't finish the job).
This person meant well and I can understand she was just sharing information that someone sent her because her son is been diagnosed as having it.
Ever google something you've been diagnosed with and it totally freaked you out.? Yes, this was the case . Sort of.
To me this was terrifying. Maybe I'll ask about this to his pediatrician. Maybe I just need to take a deep breath and pray. Maybe his peeps are missing the whole picture and I don't know what to do about that.
It took me some time to shake all of that off. Like I said I try not to focus too much on what he can't do and focus on the things the He CAN do.
I think of all of the stuff he's currently doing...Simply amazing.
Currently he is 13 days from turning 4 years old and right now besides saying his name he has been doing things like put his toys away, put dirty clothes in the basket, and help with his brother in a more limited way.
He's also good at saying mommy over and over again... And when he sees daddy being sleepy he says "Daddy's sleepy just like Fire fighter truck(Fire Truck) is sleepy". Some of the stuff although totally and utterly is honest has us totally tickled. We try not to laugh too much.
I took him with me to the fire station to drop off some cardboard and the fire trucks were inside. I told him that they were sleeping...
He then says "Wake up Fire fighter Trucks!". Now to you or I we know that when we see a fire truck they are going to a call or a fire. I do not wish for that to happen but it does. We have totally told him that they need to sleep and only come out for fires or when people call them.
Andrew almost made a huge feux paux by telling him about the fire alarm. Oh my Lord he almost pulled it. :\
He's forgotten about that but to an almost 4 year old he'd see a fire truck one way or another. Bad daddy moment for sure. ;)
That's our life for sure right now and Daniel is moments from learning to RUN. We are beside ourselves as Daniel was talking to me saying "Daniel Good boy.".
Here is a video I found. I've been curious about different places so I went to you tube. Here is the Video
It's actually a guy who drives and films his trips on different roads. Awesome. This is actually the roads we drive around on so you know the area I live in.
Be blessed.
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