Blessings FLOW- Major triggers

and so do tears...
I know we just observed Valentines day... but on the 28th of January I observed the 5th anniversary of "Saying Goodbye" to my baby Samuel who passed from this world at 7 weeks in utero into God's loving arms.
Funny how the very same day my next door neighbor gave birth to a daughter the very same day I had surgery to remove Samuel's remains.
A year later: After we went to that little girl's birthday party, we went and talked to a tree we had planted in honor of Samuel. At that very point we were within weeks of giving birth to Jonathan.
I have to recognize that without having lost Samuel I would not have had the hope to even keep trying to conceive. Jonathan was conceived 6 months after we lost Samuel (or 3 menstrual cycles).

Without having lost precious life, I would not have met the most amazing women. Some of whom have lost many of their babies anywhere from weeks after conception to delivering a full term baby who passed away before birth. These women have born incredible heartache, but yet a lot of them continued to press forward. Many of them went on to receive their blessings of their children. Any pregnancy after a loss makes for some really, really frayed nerves, some post traumatic stress, and eventually a really awesome redemption story (no matter how scary the story is). Any woman who's had a baby after a loss is a PAL mommy. I am also if you know me very partial to Pal babies and their mommies. :) They feel like my nieces and nephews.
You'll hear me say things like my kids are "Rainbow babies". Rainbows ALWAYS come after storms.
Without having had gone through incredible pain and heartache myself I would have never been able to understand other people's pain.\I wouldn't have the incredible friendships I will always cherish. And although may of us probably would never have had any thing in common, we were brought together by our heartache..
As I look at my 3 year old;who in a month will be 4 years old and look at my 18 month old... They both wouldn't be here if it were not for the giant window God opened in my heart through my losses.


The funny thing about my second loss was how in the midst of that unknowingly one of my friends' daughter Sam whom they were adopting was born the very same day I miscarried Hannah. (August 31,2007)
When Jeff (the dad) called to tell is the great news I cheered but also told him we had lost out baby.

I will leave you with a video I found... The link to their website is on the Right side and it is a flower that says: You are a Beautiful Mother"... Be Blessed and please if you are triggered by any or all of this please email me and we can talk. all I have is Love for anyone going through a loss of any kind. I hope I can bring my friendship and love to where you are. no matter where you might be.