Enough

OK I need to do some confessing...

Andrew and I go to Forest Hill Church... South Park. If you know us and read this blog at all you'll read our reasons for why we decided to go to the specific campus we are going to. Unless an angel came and made it clear what the Lord wants we are staying our course. It's not been an easy thing at all.

About a couple of months ago the pastor Chris Payne was on stage teaching and talked about what God had taught him through a conversation he had with his 3 year old.
It was deep stuff, and honestly it was awesome.
Honestly at the same time it made my heart break. We currently have no conversations about anything as Jonathan has trouble communicating even basic needs although he gets his needs met through non verbal cues and sign language. Don't get me wrong he is getting a lot better with his vocabulary although it's been slow.
I did however, during that time get in my quiet space (in the shower and in my room during their nap time) and told the Lord about it. I told him about how I wished I could have a deep conversations like other people do with their kids, and mostly about how I HATE how nothing in my family's life has ever been normal. It wasn't a pity party but my heart sometimes needs a little encouragement because of the level of difficulty.
Then I got a sense of what HE wanted me to know... it's awesome.
He then told me that He created everything to have it's own purpose. Every person has his/her own special purpose. He's got plans for him that even I have no idea of.
He reminded me of the times back in the NICU when all we were thinking was Please Lord, let this child LIVE. He taught us to see everything as a miracle after that.
We learned to appreciate and celebrate everything with him. Rolling over,crawling, even walking were reasons to celebrate because of the level of difficulty to get there... Tears were shed the first time I saw him walk unassisted towards me.
I was completely over the moon when he uttered 3 words I've waited so long for him to say. I Love You.
It sounds so simple but we have battled.He tries so hard. He gets so frustrated that we don't understand gibberish.
Frustration leads to tantrums and high pitched whining..
If you Pray there you go... Please let us find what the problem is with his language. If you know who to see as far as that please feel free and leave me a message.
Jonathan starts back at school tomorrow at Central Child Development Center in a class designed for kids 3 and 4 years old who have special problems like his.
If he needs therapy he'll get it at school. they have a speech therapist, a pt and an OT therapist there as well.
He will be in an academic class this time as his teacher thinks he is ready.
He will learn some letters, animals, numbers and how to recognize his name in writing.
He is very smart and can identify everyone in our family... Mommy, Daddy,and Daniel. He still cannot seem to reason enough to recognize himself in pictures...even the current ones he can remember when we took it..
Case in point a few weeks ago we went back to the Train museum.. We took a picture of him in front of a train. He says "choo choo"... Pointed out the same picture of him and he said choo choo... I pulled out a photo of Daddy Daniel and himself and he pointed out Daddy and Daniel but not him. I told him what to say as far as when I ask him who that is (to say ME). It's slow but we are teaching him.


I got what the Lord wanted for me to know. If I begin to see the little things and see them as unique I will not miss a single thing.
Normally I see things in a big picture, black and white, this OR that kind of thought process. I would have missed the beauty of all the wonderful things that I have learned along the way.
Has it been easy? the answer is no and honestly I wouldn't change it.
How many opportunities, and how many people have I met because I just happened to be out with Jonathan or at therapy to share his amazing story. How many people just plain blurt out he's a miracle and amazing. They see God's fingerprints.
He is amazing how far he's come and something tells me that he will do more.
I remember the time we came back from being out and he got the bread out so that he could make his favorite sandwich... Peanut butter and Jelly on toasted wheat bread.
He knew he needs bread for his sandwich... most people only think about the filling. (come on folks he is three) Only thing was he was holding that loaf of bread upside down and the bread fell out of the bag all over the floor. He was upset... but I wasn't. I was so proud of him. that was a smart thing. I was laughing but at the same time totally beating myself up for not having a camera nearby.
He wanted to do it himself. God taught me that he feels the same way about us. Doesn't matter how messy our attempts are because we are continuing to learn.
All this in the midst of having several professionals tell us that Jonathan was significantly behind. Although they were correct in their professional observations... it says absolutely NOTHING about his intelligence or his comprehension. He gets it. If you ask him to do something depending on whether or not he wants to participate. If he decides to do it he will do it.
Now if we can get him to learn not to draw all over my walls we would be doing great. (nothing a serious primer can't fix) Nothing a magic eraser and some primer won't fix.
That and I am leaning about chalkboard paint and thinking that is awesome. I might try that.

Be blessed and please don't miss the small and the large iracles around you. You may be looking at one