Facing the Giants Part infinitum

Is it just me or does it seem like it's easier to go to Urgent Care and deal with my health care that it is to get decent prenatal care. I have decent insurance but in the area I live in people on Medicaid can often get in to see specialists sooner than I can even seem to reach a live person and get through all the red tape bull.
Background- About a year after I had Jonathan and went through the Nicu journey he had...we decided we needed to consult someone and see if there was anything we could do. We found a perinatologist who did some research on Jonathan and our case and got back to us.. He set up a plan of care..hoping the next time we were pregnant that we would be able to discover the reason that had happened or if it was a fluke.
We got pregnant with Daniel and switched to another OB Practice..at about 12 weeks... Had the worst time trying to get any care at all from the recommendations the specialist had made. OB made our lives hell and made me suffer extra for wanting to fight for him. Finally got to the amniocentesis and found out that what we had was not another fluke but likely to happen again the same as Jonathan.(lungs were not ready) We held off delivery until after another amnio in 10 days.... The results of that came back borderline so I got steroids.(had to fight for that)... 3 days later we had Daniel who was born at nearly 41w weighing over 10 pounds. His lungs were borderline but otherwise the steroids did something.
Fast forward to right now...
I've had the worst problems with getting anyone to communicate, And it seems everyone's just plain forgotten me. So we go through a super drawn out process of getting a referral which probably won't go through , and some big frustration.

So, I just keep asking myself how worth it is all of the fighting that we did to prove we had a real issue...Just to find out we in fact, do have an issue and need care... Only to have to start screaming bloody murder because we can't get any decent care.
Here's a question....How much is it worth KNOWING we  have a problem, when there is NO ACTION being taken. That will only guarantee we return to the NICU for a long stay or even worse.
I am feeling upset about all of this but any time I do...Jonathan jumps up and comes and grins at me and gives me an "I love you" and a hug.. Here is an ultrasound pic we have from last week.

Just a NOTE: I changed OB's Earlier in this pregnancy hoping I could avoid the stress the last OB caused...

A Father's Promise Fulfilled

Yesterday Andrew did something that totally made me teary eyed. He took all of us to a minor league baseball game.
I really don't think that Andrew was aware of what he was doing other than trying to have fun with his family.
I really had to remind him of something that happened while Jonathan was on Nitric Oxide.
\While we were there in the NICU with Jonathan we felt absolutely powerless, and the uncertainty over what the future held was really something that certainly bothered us.
Who wouldn't have been. At about the time Jonathan was put on the Nitric he started to speak to Jonathan about all the things he wanted to share with Jonathan as a dad. Among one of many things he told Jonathan he wanted to do was take him to a baseball game.
At the time my heart broke for Andrew. After all the time it took us to even conceive Jonathan...The thought of him not making it was really, extremely upsetting.

Okay Fast forward to last night. Jonathan had a blast with Andrew. Daniel and I had fun too. It was the kids,and I's first game also. Although it was really muggy out and a wee bit too warm , I really enjoyed it. I would do this again although I would get seats that had wheelchair access and stick my stroller there.
The team won by one point in the 9th inning and after there were fireworks.

Except one little thing: Jonathan is TERRIFIED by anything that sounds like thunder. I mean Fight or Flight(mostly get me out of here) It was really cool to actually be in the stadium watching it. I have in the past been on the freeway driving home from Charlotte on a Saturday night and seen it  that way. This was 100 times better this way although Jonathan didn't agree with me.
Neither did Daniel as he became a clingy boy on Dad to the point where Andrew felt like he was being "constricted".
Well ,I just wanted  to share that. Andrew doesn't realize how much that type of stuff touches me. That was too sweet to share.
Be blessed.

Thought of the day

I want to make a video but need some help. I want to be able to tell Jonathan's story on video, and need some advice on where to do this... This would probably go on his page here on this blog and on my March of Dimes  page.
I will be getting Andrew to follow me in to my appointment and get my peri to talk about it.

I was reading our plan of action and noticed that we are supposed to get an ultrasound 1x a month... My new OB missed this. Should I mention this or should I just wait...

I am facing my giant of fear and although I'm currently at a place where I need some emotional support, I know I need to take this a week at a time and stop looking towards the end. That has been the thing overwhelming me.
I just need to stop and take a deep breath and live in today.
That is the Thought for the day

Now that my break is over

I need a nap.

Life has been crazy here at the Hoover Houselhold. Trying to figure out how to potty train Jonathan who has resisted the attempts of everyone who has tried isn't easy. Got Ideas? Let me hear em.

Other than that things are doing okay relatively. Daniel has learned to scream for attention. The night terrors we were experiencing with him since taking him off of Zyrtec have disappeared. Thank the Lord. We were all very tired there for a while.

Jonathan can identify most of his primary colors through sign. we are noticing that he can identify some letters.

I am wondering if some of Jonathan's behavior is normal though. When the lights went out the other day he became a worried at an almost neurotic level ,even when I wasn't worried at all.

He became the same way when a number of severe thunderstorms were in our area. He also does this when Andrew leaves the car when we are all out. I don't know where all this came from but I'd appreciate it if he didn't do this any more. ;)

Ahhh the joys of being 4.

As for me I see my OB tomorrow hoping to hear a nice heartbeat. I am also very nervous and until I hear that little heart beating I will be holding my breath. You can pray for me, I'd definitely appreciate it.

Trying to find some things to do with Jonathan this summer that will make him use his noggin. I've been letting him help me load the dishwasher and take clothes out of the dryer. He will begin receiving commissions soon (different from allowance see Dave Ramsey's Website )

We saw his behavior ease up when we gave him something to do.

That's all for now

Be Blessed

The Last Day of School for Jonathan

Here is the interview with Jonathan on his last day of school on May 26,2010

I enjoyed this but uploading the video itself was a pain in the(you pick a word)I finally got it uploaded on Vimeo...(which I am trying out before I get pro)

I found out about it being the last day only the night before...Had I more time I would have done something for the teacher.

Jonathan's last day of school interview from Trina Hoover on Vimeo.

Enjoy and be blessed

Life at the Hoover house-Breaking news

What's Happening at the Hoover Household?
We are expecting another blessing around New Year's. Yep we are pregnant..
Because we have experienced the pain of having a miscarriage, we decided to wait until we went found a new OB, got and ultrasound etc.

We are due Jan. 1, 2011 and will probably if we can go as close to it or go over. We went 5 days over with Daniel.
Exciting? You bet. Scary... you know me well enough. Why yes, yes it is (in a way of Ferb from Disney's Phinneas and Ferb) so  I considered this as a call to challenge myself to face it and face the Giant.
Will you come on this journey with me?

Be blessed

May 10th 2010

Jonathan waiting to go to school
Daniel sleeping in the car while Waiting.